Saturday, December 15, 2012

My Holiday Aphorisims 2012


CHRISTMAS CRACKS


Shear brilliance in itself is not enough to achieve great results, you need a good dose of stupid in the mix.

He who cultivates aristocratic qualities is far more noble than the aristocrat who lets his ancestral fields go fallow.

If self-effacement is considered a virtue then never drop a name unless it reflects very badly on you.

Delusions of grandeur are far preferable to those of insignificance.

You know you've had a good vacation when you come home with bed sores.

Only a fool does not judge a house by its furniture.

When you go out to a restaurant the last thing you want it to be about is the food.

I enjoy the company of stupid people who know they are.

I'm far too lazy to have domestic help.

The last thing I’d ever presume to make in life is a difference.

Enjoying yourself is all well and good but what if nobody else does?

I’m a failed gossip; I can never remember the material.

Viewing a contemporary art installation is a bit like rock climbing: you almost hope you’ll loose your grip and end the pain.

I admit to having a drinking problem: so often the wine really sucks.

Describing yourself in a brief meeting is a bit like rescuing your three favorite possessions from a house fire.

At least Kindle books can’t be used as kindling.

I’d never thought I’d see the day when there was too much art in the world.

Humility and modesty at a cocktail reception barely get you a second glass of wine.

The only explanation for a “rich eccentric” living like he’s destitute is that the money’s all bullshit.

No matter where you live in the world there’s always going to be someone to tolerate.

I don’t insist that friends share my political point of view but I prefer that they at least pretend to.

The world is full of malice and envy, and those who harbor such feelings should band together and put those lucky sons of bitches in their place.

Nothing could be more idiotic than common sense.

I enjoy meeting people but not when they seem to think that’s all I’ve got in mind.

Why pay to belong to an exclusive club when all the fun is happening among the excluded?

Treating everybody with the same level of kindness and respect is a virtue I’ve always aspired to, but then along comes that goddam son of a bitch.

Self-restraint is one skill I’ve definitely never sought to refine.


All of the above is of my authorship. All right reserved.

10 comments:

YONKS said...

"Why pay to belong to an exclusive club when all the fun is happening among the excluded?"

A principle I have always followed! This list is hilarious with more than an element of truth.

Looking at you standing on that balcony could not be further from the week I have just enjoyed in the Scottish highlands. Some beautiful stags were seen! Stop by for a peek.

I hope you have a magnificent Christmas season surrounded by non-tiresome people :-)

Di
x

Jane and Lance Hattatt said...

Hello Paul:
Oh how we love this picture of you, so at ease in your new and exceedingly stylish surroundings....you have inspired us with your words to look up Oscar Wilde.....

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."

" An idea which is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all."

"The advantage of the emotions is that they lead us astray."

"Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess."

"The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself".

"There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about and that is not being talked about."

We talk and think about you both often. We shall hold this image of you in our mind's eye as we wish you both the happiest of Christmases and a joyous New Year!!

We shall email next week! J and L xx

Concrete Jungle said...

Just loving your deck design! Happy Holidays..

Dean Farris said...

Witty, and all true!

La Dolfina said...

Gosh you look handsome!

Vittoria Gallacci said...

Ahah, there are a couple of sentences that I wish I could scream into someone else's face, but I'm too polite so I'm not going to do that!

Xx

Vittoria

Reggie Darling said...

Most amusing. Only one I'd add is "Yes, please, I will have another."

Hilton said...

Axiom: hatred of the bourgeois is the beginning of wisdom. But I include in the word bourgeois, the bourgeois in blouses as well the bourgeois in coats. It is we and we alone, that is to say the literary men, who are the people, or to say it better: the tradition of humanity.

Flaubert

David Cristiani said...

To choose! All are good, so my favs in no order:
Why pay to belong to an exclusive club when all the fun is happening among the excluded?
-
No matter where you live in the world there’s always going to be someone to tolerate.
-
Delusions of grandeur are far preferable to those of insignificance.
-
He who cultivates aristocratic qualities is far more noble than the aristocrat who lets his ancestral fields go fallow.

Rick said...

Love your shoes!