MORE CHRISTMAS CRACKS
(All material in both this and the previous post is of my authorship)
Why colonize Mars when we have all the rogue states we need right here on Earth?
Navigable shallows are far more beckoning than uncharted depths.
Soon as you're willing to accept your current old age you're already older still.
Money's fun so long as it has nothing to do with economics.
"What am I doing back, I'd never had it so good!" —Neil Armstrong, July 1969.
Why put fools to shame when they're so good at doing it to themselves.
To every course of action there are positives and negatives, it's just that you have to look a lot harder for the former.
Sitting on the fence would be an easy way to avoid making decisions if it weren't for the internal injuries.
Friends are of absolute necessity, till they ask to borrow books.
Practice guarantees a very low return on the investment.
Ah, for the days when people took such pride in their work that even crime was committed in black tie.
You know you've had a lousy vacation when you need to rest for a week when you get home.
People who bring a lot to the table tend to eat more than everybody else.
When I was young I wanted all my friends to be brilliant and witty, but now that I'm old it's enough that their furniture is comfortable.
Consistency is the last refuge of a flip-flopper.
Golf is the game for people whose minds and bodies function with the internal mechanism of a cuckoo clock.
If you really want to get something done make sure your heart isn't in it.
6 comments:
Loving your Christmas Cracks.
Alas, far too many hit home.
judith
p.s.
Beautiful portrait.
It is wise to remember that no good deed shall go unpunished.
I am not certain my heart is behind this little phrase, but we do find ourselves saying it from time to time.
What fun this series is, and how elegant you look, Mr. Gervais de Bede! Here are four other cracker suggestions:
(1) The bitter taste of poor quality remains long after the sweet taste of a low price is forgotten;
(2) One of the few things that truly will go away if ignored long enough is one's teeth
(3) The best way to get on your feet is to get off your arse
(4) Lovely to look at, delightful to hold, if you break it we mark it "sold"
Reggie
Hello:
These are, and continue to be, an absolute delight. And we must concur with Reggie, you do indeed look most elegant.
What a handsome dude...where are we going???
And here's a funny one from my trader friends on Twitter very apropos for the times and the place you live
Asking peripheral countries to vote for EU plan is like asking turkeys to vote for Thanksgiving,
"Most people don't recognize opportunity because it comes disguised as hard work." I had this little teabag fortune pinned up for nearly twenty years. Words to live by, for those with a strong yankee work ethic.
Another motto: years ago a customer at my bookshop proclaimed, loudly, "Women and booze come and go, but BOOKS ARE FOREVER!" He was thrice divorced. And bought a lovely leatherbound set of the Encyclopaedia Britannica, 11th edition.
Such handsome photos, look at you! You are slowly becoming my ideal arbiter of taste.
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